The Weapon of Honour⚔️🏹
Speaker: Pastor Reuben Seevaratnam
Date: May 11, 2025
Please Note: This sermon transcript was generated automatically and may contain occasional errors or odd phrasing due to the transcription process.
Introduction: The Foundation of Honor
Well, we’re going to—I’m going to bring a word this morning related to not just mothers but fathers too, I guess. But the focus is not on mothers or fathers but really what the commandment is to do with—the first commandment with the blessing in the Bible. That’s called—how many know what the commandment is? Of all the ten commandments, the first one that comes with the blessing has to do with honoring the first leaders in our lives, right? Before we go to school, before we go to church, the first leaders in our lives—before we get a job—is our dad and mom. And so that is the foundation for all authority and leadership in our lives. If we don’t learn how to honor the first leadership, we’re unlikely going to honor any other leaders as we get older. So that’s the training ground. Even Jesus was not an exception. Though he was the Son of God, he had to become the Son of Man. And he had to be born in a house and raised under perfect leaders. The Bible says he grew in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and with men. And the Son of Man is now the King of Kings. But before he ministered for the last three years, he was just, you know, a son of the house.
So we’re going to share this morning. I’m probably going to call this message The Weapon of Honor. Honor is a weapon against the enemy as God intended, but the enemy wants to use it against the believer. So there’s a kind of a tug of war. When we do it God’s way, when we honor God’s way, it becomes a weapon against the enemy. But we don’t know what God’s way is. And if we are not alert and not discerning, sometimes the enemy can use honor as a weapon against us. We’re going to share what that means and what the difference is.
Prayer
So, Father, we just thank you for your word this morning. We thank you for speaking to us, for leading us and guiding us. As we hear not just my voice or my words, but Holy Spirit speak to us. Let our minds be renewed, our hearts transformed, and grant us the grace to hear with faith and to walk in your word. We thank you, Jesus, for your presence, for your word of spirit and life. Let it release healing, wholeness, shalom for your glory. In Jesus’ name, amen.
The Blessing of Honor
Well, the blessing that comes with honoring is in Ephesians 6:3. It says, “Then that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” So that it may go well—that you may walk in God’s favor, his grace, and have a long life. Now, that really is a weapon against the enemy because you now get to be used. I mean, you have the favor of God to do what he called you to do, right? You need God’s favor. You need a healthy life to fulfill your purpose, to fulfill the Great Commission, to just be a witness for him. Because if the opposite were to happen—if it is not going well with you and you do not live long—we’re not very effective witnesses. Unless, of course, God called someone to the mission field to be a martyr, etc. But generally speaking, we need it to go well with us. Not just for our sakes, for ourselves, but so that we can be a witness, so that we can do the works he’s called us to do. We need to have more than enough for our needs to be a blessing. So the enemy hates that. He hates the church. He hates it for things to be well with the believer because now his kingdom is threatened. But if he can get Christians to be so wrapped up in their own concerns and needs, now we become kind of ineffective, right? Rather than being able to be a blessing, we are constantly in a place of need and me-centered—”God, I need this. God, I need that.” Being blessed is not just for our sake, but it is so that we can do his will, right? Doesn’t mean that life will be perfect. You know, that’s the challenge of obedience. Oftentimes, we’ve got to obey God while we have needs ourselves. But blessing and favor is a weapon against the enemy when we are blessed, all right? Because through his favor, we get to do his will and represent him well.
Jesus’ Teaching on Honor
Now I want to look at what Jesus spoke about in Matthew 15. What did Jesus say about the first commandment with the blessing? He was actually now talking to the religious leaders. In Matthew 15:3, talking to the leaders, he said, “Why do you transgress the commandment of God, which is to honor your father and mother, because of your tradition?” Okay. So what was their tradition that went against God’s word? We’re going to find out what Jesus was meaning when he said honor your father and mother. The bare basic minimum of honoring your father and mother according to Jesus is—verse 4—God commanded (Jesus speaking), “Honor your father and mother, and he who curses father or mother, let him be put to death.” So we honor by not speaking evil against them, okay, with our speech. Verse 5: Jesus is telling them, “But you say, ‘Whoever says to his father and mother, “Whatever profit you might have received from me is a gift from God,” that he need not honor his father and mother.’ Thus you have made the commandment of God of no effect by your tradition.” So God is speaking to adults who have an income, who are earning, who are in a position to give—to bless. And so what the religious leaders were telling everybody—all the Jews—was, “Hey, if you give to the church or to the temple, you don’t have to give to your parents. You don’t have to help your family because God replaces the family.” So Jesus was saying, “Hey, that is a tradition that is going against God’s commandment.” He’s saying, “You need to do both. We’re going to find that out.” Not either-or.
Honor and Cultural Tradition
Sometimes, another word for tradition is—what kind of tradition? Cultural expectations or cultural tradition. It’s a clash of culture, right? I don’t know whether you know—sometimes we think we filter God’s word through our own natural culture of our race, of our nation. This is the way we Indians or Chinese do things, or this is the way we Malaysians do things, or we Asians do things. But it’s not the way God does things. So sometimes there’s a conflict between God’s expectations and our tradition, based on many factors. So here, this was a Jewish tradition that was not biblical. The religious leaders thought that giving to the church replaces honoring parents financially who are in need, who need help from their children. And we see that the first church that was birthed at Pentecost—how did they respond? Obviously, they knew—this was after Jesus went up—so they knew the teaching of Jesus: that we need to provide for family in need, for parents in need, and help the church. And it’s interesting that the very first mention of giving after Pentecost in Acts chapter 2 and Acts chapter 4, it says the early church gave directly to those in need—obviously including their family, their parents—but they also gave through the church. In Acts 2:44, it says all who believed were together, had all things in common, and sold their possessions and goods and divided them among all as anyone had need. So they gave to people in need directly and specifically. But in Acts chapter 4, it says they also gave to the church. In Acts 4:34, it says, “Nor was there anyone among them who lacked, for all who possessed lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of the things that were sold and laid them at the apostles’ feet, and they distributed to each as anyone had need.” So they gave directly, but they also gave to the leadership of the church to distribute to those in need. Now, this was giving to people besides their own parents—honoring their father and mother. So they did both. It’s interesting that, you know, if they were saying, “Oh man, we can’t wait for the Holy Spirit to come so that we don’t have to tithe anymore. We can just give anything we want—1%, 2%.” But the weird thing is, when they were no longer under the law, they gave everything. They sold all their goods and gave everything the very first time they gave. So it’s like, you begin to wonder—finally, like, hey, we have freedom to give more than the 10%. You want to give, you want to bless everything. But perhaps the law was a restriction on their generosity, because the very first giving in the New Testament church far exceeded the requirements of the law. And now, remember these people who gave to those in need were also honoring their parents who were in need. Okay? So they gave directly to one another. They gave to the church.
Providing for Family Is Part of Faith
Why is this so important? Because Paul writes to Timothy in 1 Timothy 5:8, and he says to Timothy and to the church, “If anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” Wow, isn’t that scary? So, priority in honoring is making sure that your parents are not in financial need, if you’re in a position to help, right? If you’re a working adult and your parents are going through stress, obviously you want to share—according to what each child is earning—to help provide for your family. And we see Jesus do this on the cross, which kind of tells us that he was probably taking the bulk responsibility for taking care of Mary. In John chapter 19:26, it says, “When Jesus therefore saw his mother”—now he’s on the cross, okay, and he sees Mary there—”and the disciple whom he loved, who was John, standing by, he said to his mother, ‘Behold your son.’ Then he said to the disciple, ‘Behold your mother.’ And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.” In other words, the disciple became responsible for the welfare of Mary, which kind of implies that until then Jesus was responsible for her welfare. He was providing for her, and so he’s about to die on the cross any moment, about to go, and he says—hey, before he dies—he’s going to make sure his mother’s taken care of by handing her to his disciple. So this is how honor is a weapon against the enemy—because it positions you to fulfill your purpose God has given for you, without being distracted by your own needs.
A Kingdom Perspective on Giving
You know, it’s interesting. Imagine how a farmer would think if we tell him, “Hey, up to this point you only need to sow so much seed. But after this point, you can sow much less seed if you want.” Can you imagine? The farmer would say, “Why on earth would I want to sow less seed? Because if I sow less seed, I’m going to get a smaller harvest.” So in terms of agriculture, no farmer would need any excuse or reason why he is now permitted to sow as little as possible, because that’s crazy. “I want to sow as much as possible because I want a greater harvest,” right? So likewise, the principle of honoring biblically is we guard how we speak about leadership—not just parents, but it starts at home. It says over and over: do not speak evil against the ruler of your people. So we honor by our speech—we don’t speak against those in leadership, our parents. Secondly, we honor by helping financially those in need, beginning in our own house. So that’s the two—that’s the kind of ceiling, that’s the basic minimum, regardless of what kind of parents you have, whether they’re good, bad, terrible—regardless. They gave birth to you. They raised you up. So it’s unconditional on their character, okay? The very basic is: don’t speak evil against them. And if they need financial help and you’re in a position to help financially, all the kids—you contribute to help them financially. That’s what the context of honoring your father and mother is, in the words of Jesus. “Hey, don’t curse and don’t just give to the house in place of them—but help them too.”
When Honor Is Used Against You
Now, how about the flip side? How does the enemy want to use honor against the believer? This whole concept—see, the enemy is a cunning serpent. He’ll try to deceive and twist Scripture, and what is meant to be a blessing, he will try to use to bind us, to bring bondage. Now, if you have a Bible, it would be good to read this passage in Mark chapter 3, the second Gospel. Mark 3:20–21: Then the multitude came together again, so that they could not so much as eat bread. But when His own people—His family—heard about this, they went out to lay hold of Him, for they said, “He is out of His mind.” Because you read the earlier scriptures—the religious leaders were saying Jesus is possessed. He’s casting out demons by the devil himself. And so the family of Jesus were influenced that something was wrong with Jesus, because for 30 years He was a very normal family member—until He got baptized, and all of a sudden He acts crazy. He does all these weird things, and it’s like, what’s wrong with Him? So it says His own people heard about this, and they went out to lay hold of Him, for they said, “He is out of His mind.” So they went out to look for Jesus, to tell Him, “Hey, come home, you’re crazy, you need to recover.” Now look at verse 31: Then His brothers and His mother came, and standing outside they sent to Him, calling Him. Verse 32: And a multitude was sitting around Him; and they said to Him, “Look, Your mother and Your brothers are outside seeking You.” Now, He obviously knew why they were looking for Him, right? Because they thought He had lost His mind. They thought He had gone crazy. So He knew that they wanted Him to come back with them. In other words, He knew they wanted Him to stop what He was doing. In other words, to stop honoring His Father in heaven, and to honor His earthly family. So right now, there was a conflict or a clash of wills. Are they going to let Jesus continue obeying His Father’s will? Or are they going to exert their will as His family members to say, “Hey, there’s something wrong with You. You need to come home with us.”
Jesus Redefines Family
And His response is amazing. Verse 33: But He answered them, saying, “Who is My mother, or My brothers?” Now remember, they are right there. Verse 34: And He looked around in a circle at those who sat about Him, and said, “Here are My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of God is My brother and My sister and mother.” So it’s interesting that He doesn’t distinguish between His siblings and His mother, but He does distinguish who family is. He makes a distinction between family by physical connection and family by obeying the Father—His heavenly Father. Because that’s what really makes family, right? We often—you know, many families have good close friends of the children who become like family to them. It’s like they join in everything. They’re sleeping over so often, it’s like in and out—especially many decades ago. So Jesus is saying, “Hey, true family is not based on how we are related—on connectedness—but true family is those who are united by a common obedience to God.” Now what do I mean? There’s no one perfect, right? None of us obey perfectly. So what kind of obedience is He talking about? See, they had come to hinder and oppose His obedience to the Father, right? So He had a choice to make. Do I abort obeying my Father’s will to please my family, to submit to them—to their desires? You know, stop what I’m doing, go back and explain to them, “I’m not crazy. I’m okay. I’m fulfilling my assignment.” Does He submit to them, or does He submit to the Father? And the challenge is—He can’t make both happy. If He flowed in with His family and says, “Oh, Mom is here. I’ve got to honor my mother…”—and how was He honoring? He was providing for her. That’s the ceiling. But now the temptation is—cultural tradition is, “Hey, you need to submit to your mother. She’s your mother. She’s calling you. Go submit.” Right? But by doing that, He would have ended up dishonoring His Father in heaven. So honoring father and mother is not at the cost of dishonoring your heavenly Father. If pleasing your family makes you displease or disobey your Father’s will…
The Family of God
So He says, “Hey, family is really those who are obedient to the Father—at the very basic level of not hindering my obedience.” I’m going to share a little bit more on this. So what did He say? “Here are My brothers. Whoever does the will of God is My mother.” So what does mother and brother signify? Family. Now, do you know that the church is called the family of God? In Ephesians 3:14, Paul writes to the church in Ephesus and he says: “For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named.” Who’s the family on earth? He’s not talking about natural family—because not everybody has parents, siblings, and children. He’s talking about the house of God—God’s family in heaven and earth. So the concept of family did not begin with Adam and Eve but began in heaven. That’s why Jesus often refers to heaven as “My Father’s house.” “In My Father’s house are many rooms. I’ve prepared a place for you.” So family really is the Father’s house, right? There’s a spiritual head. It’s generational. Whether it’s a single parent or two parents, the head of the house—if it’s a mom, well, she’s in a way like a spiritual father if there’s no dad around—like Rahab was in her house, like Ruth to Naomi. Okay, so, there’s the generational—“a house” speaks of generational. There’s two levels and there’s someone in charge, responsible for the household. So Paul is saying, “Look, the church of God is meant to be a family as it is in heaven.”
Offending for Obedience
Now it’s interesting that when Jesus responded the way He did—culturally, it sounds very offensive. Okay, if this happened today, His mom and brothers would have been furious. “Who does He think He is? To speak about us instead of acknowledging us and inviting us to the front and announcing us to everybody—‘Hey everybody, multitudes, disciples—here’s My family. Mom, would you like to say a few words? Want to say what a good son I was?’” You know—nothing. He ignored them. He did not acknowledge them, which culturally is offensive. It’s dishonoring. But He had to make a decision. By acknowledging them, He’s acknowledging that spirit. You see, it’s not flesh and blood—it’s the spirit operating through them to cause Him to abort the Father’s will in His life—from obeying the Father. So Paul is saying, “Hey, true family is those who are obedient to the Father.” Otherwise, the enemy will use honor wrongly to cause you to dishonor the Father. So that’s how honor becomes a weapon against the believer. And we don’t discern the difference. We assume that every expectation of earthly authority is to be followed—even at the cost of dishonoring God’s authority. Jesus did not respond with unforgiveness. He loved His family. He loved His mom. He loved His brothers. He did not ask the question “Who is My mother and brother?” because He had a grudge against them. No, He’s love in the flesh.
What Is True Love?
So sometimes we misunderstand what love is. You see, it wasn’t a phileo love. It wasn’t an emotional love. It was agape love. There’s a big difference. Many times we read the word love in English—when there are four Greek words—and we assume every word love in the Bible has to do with emotions. And Peter was a very emotional guy. Okay? That’s why he was, you know, quick to say, “I would never deny you, Christ!” and cut the guy’s ear off—very emotional. And so Jesus had to say, “Peter, do you really love Me?” And in Greek, Jesus asked him three times, “Do you agape Me?” And each time Peter replied, “You know, Lord, I phileo You.” He didn’t reply with the same love that Jesus asked him. So we’ve got to remember this. We see a clash of cultures—between Jewish or earthly culture and God’s kingdom culture. And sometimes, as believing adults, being misunderstood by people we love is the price of pleasing the Father. Again, Jesus was speaking to the multitudes, and it says in Luke 11:27: “And it happened, as He spoke these things, that a certain woman from the crowd raised her voice”—kind of interrupted Him—and said, “Blessed is the womb that bore You, and the breasts which nursed You!” But He said: “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it.” So He was giving more honor to the obedient than to family members who were disobedient—who were trying to hinder Him from obeying the Father. Can you imagine? It’s a whole paradigm shift—between earthly expectations and traditions of honor, and what is the Lord’s expectation of honor. What is honor to Him?
Honoring God First
Was Jesus not honoring? Yes, He was honoring her—because He took care of her. He didn’t speak evil against her. But He wouldn’t submit to her in a way that caused Him to not submit to the Father. He wouldn’t let earthly honor hinder and abort His submission to the Father’s will. And we see this at the very first miracle. In John 2:3, it says: “When they ran out of wine”—you know this—“the mother of Jesus said to Him, ‘They have no wine.’” Now remember, this was the first miracle, right? So He hadn’t done it yet. He hadn’t acted supernaturally yet. So, “They have no wine.” Jesus was saying, “Okay, Son, do something about it. I’m your mom. I’m giving you this instruction as your mom,”—between the lines, okay? Why else would you tell Him, right? She expects Him—“Hey, here’s the problem. Fix it. Now, My Son. I’m your mother. I’m telling you this is a problem. Do something about it.” And what was His response? Remember, He had just been baptized. He had been through the wilderness. He’s starting His ministry. Verse 4: Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does your concern have to do with Me?” Wow. Like a slap in the face. “Hey, isn’t that very honoring?” Sounds totally dishonoring. In fact, He didn’t say “Mom.” He said, “Woman.” And what did He say? “My hour has not yet come.” Verse 5: His mother said to the servants, “Whatever He says to you, do it.” No longer “whatever I say to Him.” You see, because His number one concern was now the Father’s will. And many times in our life, there will be a clash of culture—between the Father’s will and our mother’s or father’s will on earth. The expectations of family on earth who do not understand the call of God on your life. Who do not understand what He wants you to do. And for lack of understanding, they’ll put expectations on you. And you’ll be tempted—“Who do I please?” If you can’t please both—“Oh, I’ve got to please my family at all costs,”—at the cost of dishonoring My Father in heaven—“I’ve got to obey them.” No, you’re going to miss out.
Costly Obedience: The Disciples’ Response
See, following Christ may cause you to offend family members—when pleasing the Father means not submitting to family whose expectations oppose your obedience. Now, we’re going to see this in how Jesus called His leaders, especially His senior leadership. This was the price they paid. In Matthew 4, we’re going to see how He called His first senior leaders. Matthew 4:18: “And Jesus, walking by the Sea of Galilee, saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea, for they were fishermen. Then He said to them, ‘Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.’ They immediately left their nets and followed Him.” Now, Jewish culture—what it is—they were not just working for themselves, but for the family, right? I’m sure the immediate family were blessed by their business, by their trade. But there was no family discussion. They didn’t say, “Jesus, wait, I need to go get my father’s permission. My mother—I need to go back…” Now these are not kids, okay? I’m talking about working adults. And so, they didn’t say, “Jesus, hang on. We want to follow You, but we need to get the green light from our family.” It says they immediately left their nets and followed Him. Now we do not know what the family would have thought about it. I can assume—maybe they were furious, angry. “Who does Jesus think He is? He calls our sons. They were making money for us. They had a good trade. We were blessed by their business. And now they dropped everything and left.” But maybe they were happy. Maybe that was their prayer—“God, please stop by my house. I want my sons to follow You.” We don’t know, okay? But the risk—the chance—is that they were not too pleased. They had that loss of income. But this is more direct.
Walking Away from Family Business
It says in verse 21, Matthew 4:21: “Going on from there, He saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets. He called them, and immediately they left the boat and their father, and followed Him.” Wow. What? No discussion? No talk? Man—isn’t it dishonoring? No. Jesus fulfilled the law. He didn’t break the Ten Commandments. He was honoring His father and mother. He was honoring their father by honoring His Father first. He would not let the honoring of earthly parents cause Him to dishonor His Father’s will. And maybe those disciples knew that. Because it says He called two others—two other disciples—who weren’t willing to pay the price. In Luke 9:59: “Then He said to another, ‘Follow Me.’ But he replied, ‘Lord, first let me go and bury my father.’” Okay? So unlike Simon Peter, unlike James and John, who immediately left, this guy said, “No, no, no, no, Lord—first let me go bury my father.” And Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead.” Why? Because He redefined family. It’s not by blood. Family by blood? Yes. Don’t speak evil. Make sure they’re provided for. But anything more than that is conditional on: are they flowing with your obedience to the Father?
Conditional Honor and Kingdom Priorities
The ceiling of honor is how we speak about our leaders—our parents. Do we provide and help if they’re in a position of need and we are able to help? But anything more is conditional on: they don’t oppose or resist you obeying the Father’s will. And so, this was the price. Because if you don’t understand that, it looks very dishonoring. “Jesus, how can you call this guy to follow You? He wants to go wait for his father to die in old age.” Obviously, I think Jesus knew that there were other children to help out. You know, sometimes it’s funny—the kids who aren’t interested in the things of God, they get left alone. The people with the call, they get pulled in all directions because the enemy doesn’t want you to fulfill God’s will on your life. And sometimes he will use false honor to bind you from fulfilling God’s will. And so you’re torn between pleasing your family and pleasing God. And you think pleasing your family means you’re pleasing God. No, it doesn’t. That is the tradition and culture of man that is against the expectations of God. And so what is Jesus saying? “Let those who are spiritually dead bury the physically dead. I know you have other people who can take care of that. You—I’m calling you. Come, follow Me.” Then another person said, verse 61: “Lord, I will follow You, but first let me go and bid farewell to those in my house.” What did Jesus say? “Yes, yes, please go. You need to honor your father and mother.” No. “No one, having put his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.” Wow.
The Cost of Discipleship
So they had to pay a heavy price. And Matthew 10 tells us what the price is. Matthew 10:36 says, “A man’s enemies will be those of his own household.” And so now it makes kind of sense. Why would anyone’s household be angry with a family member? Perhaps if they did what these guys did—what Peter, James, and John did—what they followed God’s will and they… And they love us, don’t they? They honor us? “A man’s enemies will be those of his household.” And this is Jesus speaking: “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.” You see, honor is meant to be a weapon against the enemy—when you honor without dishonoring God. Our honor for our parents, for earthly leaders, should not be at the cost of dishonoring the Father. Because then it will not go well with us. To enjoy the blessing of the first commandment with the blessing is, at the very minimum: how we speak about those in leadership—that we don’t air their dirty laundry and broadcast all their weaknesses to everybody. Okay? Generally speaking, we don’t become gossipers or slanderers. Secondly, if they’re in financial need and we’re in a financial position as children to help—all the kids should help. So that’s the ceiling. Any other form of honor depends—are their expectations hindering you from obeying the Father’s will?
Biblical Honor Is Disciplined, Not Compromised
Jesus could have said, “Hey, why are you coming to call Me? You should have been with the multitude from day one—from the beginning. You’re my—you believe in Me? Why aren’t you here? You’re coming in this while I’m speaking, and then you’re asking Me to come home with you.” And then He speaks somewhere else. And the lady says, “Wow, your mom must be blessed!” You know, Mother’s Day exaltation: “The breast that nursed…” And He goes, “Sorry. On the contrary—blessed are those who obey My Father.” Wow. See, that’s a whole conflict between earthly tradition and expectation, and God’s expectation. So how do we honor biblically? It’s not easy when you have to pay a price. The leaders of Jesus paid the price. And we can’t assume how their family responded. Maybe they were all for it. Maybe they were hoping that would happen. Maybe their prayer was answered: “Yes, our sons were chosen. Yes, the Messiah came and called our boys.” Maybe they were rejoicing. We don’t know. Possibly—we can believe the best. But not everyone would respond that way—like the guys who turned Jesus down. And He said, “No—Jesus, You’ve got to wait. I’ve got to say bye-bye. I’ve got to wait till my father dies.” Because they knew if they didn’t do that, they were going to become enemies. “A man’s enemies would be those of his own household.” His family probably condemned him: “What kind of son do we have? He just ignored us—left us—and went to follow this Messiah.”
Weaponized Honor and Freedom of Choice
Honor as a weapon—are we going to let it be a weapon against the enemy? Or are we going to let the enemy use honor as a weapon against us—by controlling us through earthly expectations that resist and oppose the expectations of the Father? And sometimes when we choose to honor the Father’s will at the cost of our earthly parents’ will, we’ll be misunderstood. We’ll be falsely accused. We’ll hear, “Oh, they don’t love their parents. They don’t honor.” Actually, family now is those who are obedient to the Father. That takes first choice. And I love my family—that’s my natural family—no matter what character they are. Because I don’t speak evil about them, and I help them financially. But anything more—I’m honoring—I’ve got to put the Father first. Because I will not let earthly leadership abort the Father’s will in our life. And so you’ve got to be discerning. Many times, people—disciples—thought, “No, no, I’m fulfilling the Ten Commandments by telling Jesus to wait. I’ve got to prioritize my family.” But Jesus’ expectations were different. He says, “Whoever does the will of My Father…” Now for some, it may not be parents. Maybe some of you don’t have parents, or don’t have that issue. Maybe it’s other relatives. Maybe it’s an uncle or aunt or some obligation for physical reasons that hinders and opposes what God wants you to do. And the reason you’re not doing what you know God wants you to do is because you’re thinking about the expectations of men. Remember this: honor does not place them in a point of need. Right? That’s why Jesus said, “Make sure they’re provided for, and make sure you don’t speak evil about them.”
Challenging the Bondage of Control
So all those disciples that Jesus called—He would have known that they were provided for, that their family was not dependent on their income or on them still working, mending the nets, or being fishermen. Maybe He knew that by following Him, they would be blessed to provide for them. Right? Because Jesus had a treasurer. He had a money box. So He wasn’t broke, okay? People just gave to Him. And who knows—maybe He would have said, “Hey, go, go, go bless your family.” We don’t know. But the point was—Jesus’ expectations of being honored would not have deprived the family of the disciples He called. So, this is a challenging word. Because many times, you know—it’s part of the cost of discipleship, when you have to make a choice. And many times, following God’s will will be misunderstood by relatives—like the own mother and siblings of Jesus didn’t understand God’s call on His life. They always saw Him as the son of man and nothing more. He was just starting—and they said, “What is wrong with this guy?” All the religious leaders said, “He’s taken over by demons. He needs to come home and not preach—get His mind in order.” And He just was very direct: “Family are those who submit to My Father. I’m submitting to My Father, though you don’t understand.” Right? So the message: Are we honoring in a way that is a blessing to others because we’re doing it the right way? Or is the enemy controlling us by thinking we are honoring biblically—but actually, we’re being controlled by family? And this is a weapon of the enemy. The enemy will corrupt or weaponize honor to control believers from submitting to God. Control believers by submitting to authority on earth that is against God’s will. And so, rather than realize that they are being controlled, they think they’re honoring. And how many times—you know, it’s like we warn young people, right? When you get into a relationship, make sure you don’t submit to that—“If you love me, you’ll do whatever I tell you to do. You’ll live as married couples…” No, that’s not love. Love doesn’t make demands. So same thing—many people in authority say, “If you honor me, you’ll do everything I tell you.” “If you honor me, you’ll let me control you.” That’s not love. That’s control. “If you love me, you’ll submit everything. You have no free will.” Right? One of the greatest features of God’s love is the freedom to choose. God could have created Lucifer without the freedom to choose—so it would have been impossible for any angel to rebel. But He created them with a free choice. And that’s why Lucifer could rebel—with a third of the angels. Then He could have made Adam and Eve without the freedom of choice—by not putting a forbidden tree there. If He made every tree good, then Adam would no longer be loving God voluntarily—because there’d be no opportunity to disobey, right? And if there’s no forbidden tree, and God said, “Adam, do you love Me?” Adam would have said, “What to do? I can’t disobey You.” But when honor becomes a weapon of the enemy—when his control disguises as honor—you lose your free choice. It’s like now you have the pressure: “I have to submit and please my earthly relatives, because if I don’t, I’m going to face their wrath. I’m going to face persecution by being judged for being unloving and dishonoring.” But hey—are you honoring the Father? It’s not going to go well with you. And this is part of the price of discipleship. Not everyone has to pay this price. Usually, those God has called for specific purposes—like it was mainly the disciples of Jesus that had to pay this price. So we’ve got to discern: “Hey, I have this expectation on my family members. I know God wants me to do this, but they keep pulling on me and telling me to do this, do that. I can’t do what I know God wants me to do.” But God says, “Honor your father and mother.” So what do you do? Very nicely: “I have other siblings who can help you. You’re not in need. I need to put God first. I have to answer. I have to stand before God—and pay the price—for it to go well with us and to live long.” Right? So this is a very challenging thing—because there are so many believers who’ve been bound, held in bondage by the expectations of family, thinking they’re honoring God. And so the enemy will try to deceive many—by lying to them that they are honoring, when they are actually submitting to control. So how do you know that you’re not being controlled? When you have the freedom to say no—without fear, with your healthy boundaries—and say, “Dad, Mom, I love you. I’m helping you financially. I’m not speaking bad about you. But this is the line—I’ve got to honor God first. I’m an adult. I’m not like a little kid under your roof. I’m financially independent. I can help you, but I’ve got to do what God wants me to do.”
Closing Encouragement for Mothers
If you want to walk in the blessing of the first commandment, it will go well with you. You’ll live long. Yes. A bit of a heavy message for Mother’s Day. But I want to close with this positive note. And obviously, I’m going to speak on—I’m referring to my wife, of course—but you can take this as if you’re a mom too, or you’re a husband and wife who fits this. Just a few verses from Proverbs 31—not the whole chapter, just a few verses. Okay, this seems like an impossible goal, right? Man, this is a— Oh, by the way, this is a good place to—you know, did you hear about why God made Eve? He actually asked Adam—okay, this is not biblical, but it’s just to make you smile. God says, “Adam, what kind of wife would you like?” And Adam gave Him the long list—what he’s looking for in a wife. And then Adam asked God, “Okay God, this is what I want. What’s it going to cost me?” And God says, “Wow. All those requirements you’re looking for? They’re going to cost you an arm and a leg.” He said, “What?! What will I get for a rib?” And so, He created Eve. Okay, that’s just aside. I just want to read a few verses, just to honor my wife Chantel, and all those who flow in this. It’s not an impossible goal. Proverbs 31:10: “An excellent wife, who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.” Verse 11: “The heart of her husband trusts her, and he will have no lack of gain.” Verse 12: “She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” Verse 26: “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” Verse 27: “She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” Verse 28: “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.” Verse 29: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Verse 30: “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Verse 31: “Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.” So that’s for my wife—and for all you mothers.
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